[00:00]
Welcome to the Cartridge Archive, the show dedicated to chronicling the complete Nintendo 64
library, one cartridge at a time. I’m Jamie. And I’m Adam. Each episode, we pull another game from
the shelf and explore its impact on Nintendo 64 history.
[00:30]
From beloved classics and hidden gems to forgotten curiosities and infamous disasters, no cartridge
is left behind. Along the way, we’ll examine each game’s story, development, legacy, collector
value, and the impact it left on the Nintendo 64’s library as a whole. Then we will put it through
the rigorous and totally patented 64-point inspection to determine whether it has what it takes to
become certified 64. So prestigious.
[01:00]
Okay, I am excited to do this. After the clunker that was last episode with Superman 64, I’m really
keen to jump in on this one. So this game, you know, just to start this off, is really well
remembered. Its use of mythological characters stands the test of time, because the source material
stands the test of time. It’s been retold countless times before, and we all know these characters.
And seeing this version of them has been the standard for many younger fans, as this is what they
have grown up with.
[01:30]
And I think that’s largely credited to the game for that impact. And even when switching from the
Greek pantheon and making the jump to the Norse mythology, everyone is along for the ride with this,
and they will continue to be. So legitimately, God of War is amazing. Let’s get started on this
episode right now. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What? It’s not God of War, it’s War Gods.
Shit. Yeah, totally different. You need to go play it real quick? If I have to, I guess. All right,
so we’ll be back in just a minute, folks.
[02:00]
Here’s the history lesson. By the mid-1990s, fighting games were the centerpiece of any popular
arcade. Midway had already struck gold with the Mortal Kombat series, but the industry was changing
rapidly. Sega’s Virtua Fighter and Namco’s Tekken had proven that the future of the genre wasn’t
just hand-drawn sprites, but fully 3D polygonal fighters. Like many developers of the era, Midway
faced a choice. Continue refining the 2D formula that had made them successful,
[02:30]
or embraced the industry’s next technological leap. In true Midway form, they chose to do both.
Rather than immediately bringing Mortal Kombat into the third dimension, the company decided to try
something new and began working on a new property. This approach would allow the team to experiment
with 3D technology, updated mechanics, and a brand new universe without potentially tarnishing one
of gaming’s biggest franchises. It seemed like a win-win situation. Mortal Kombat’s reputation would
remain unchanged, and if everything went as planned, this new project could also be a success.
[03:00]
Instead of basing its roster primarily around martial artists, Midway’s new characters pulled
inspiration from mythology, science fiction, and fantasy. The game’s story follows the alien Exor,
whose spacecraft crashes to Earth, carrying a mysterious substance known as the ore. Those who
possess a piece of the ore gain extraordinary abilities, transforming them into super-evolved
immortal warriors. These warriors have now begun to fight in an effort to be in sole possession of
all 10 pieces of the ore
[03:30]
and become the ultimate super-warrior. The characters in this world draw inspiration from cultures
and legends around the world. Fighters like Anubis, Kabuki Joe, Voodoo, and Pagan gave the roster an
eclectic identity, even if their storylines didn’t always make sense. Behind the scenes, Midway was
once again working with real performers, photographing actors to capture authentic movements and
likenesses. Unlike the 2D sprites that defined the original Mortal Kombat, however,
[04:00]
these performances were translated into fully 3D fighters, creating a visual style that sat
somewhere between Midway’s roots and the industry’s 3D future. War Gods first arrived in arcades in
late 1995, running on Midway’s Zeus hardware. It featured cinematic camera angles, brutal finishing
moves, and a presentation that immediately reminded players of Mortal Kombat while attempting to
create an identity of its own. The reception was mixed. Players generally praised the game’s visuals
and presentation,
[04:30]
but many felt that the combat lacked the responsiveness and polish of competitors like Tekken and
Virtua Fighter. Of course, others couldn’t help but compare it to Midway’s own Mortal Kombat series,
which cast a long shadow over every kick, punch, and fatality. When the Nintendo 64 launched later
the following year, Midway selected War Gods as one of its early arcade conversions. However, rather
than simply recreating the arcade experience, the home release introduced additional modes,
unlockable content, control refinements,
[05:00]
and gameplay adjustments designed specifically for console players. While it never became one of the
Nintendo 64’s defining fighters, it helped bolster the system’s early library with another
recognizable arcade port. In hindsight, War Gods may be remembered less for how it ended than for
what it helped start. The technology, experience, and design lessons Midway gained during
development would directly influence the studio’s next major fighting game. Just a year later,
Mortal Kombat would make its own leap into the third dimension
[05:30]
with the release of Mortal Kombat 4. Viewed through this lens, War Gods becomes more than just a
forgotten fighting game. It represents an important milestone in Midway’s history. A proving ground
where one of arcade gaming’s biggest developers learned how to leave the Sprite era behind and
prepare one of its most iconic franchises for a 3D future. Today, on the Cartridge Archive, War
Gods. Okay, War Gods. Let’s get cracking on this one with the back-of-the-box quote.
[06:00]
True 3D, written in caps. environments and movement with the ability to fight and operate weapons
[06:30]
in three dimensions. Brutal 3D fatalities. Deadly 10-hit combos, not 11. And lethal weapons and
combinations. 10 selectable characters, plus two hidden bosses. If you say they’re hidden, they’re
not hidden. With unique spells of containment and countermeasures. Spectacular animation with CD-
quality music and sound effects. hidden codes and secrets waiting to be discovered.
[07:00]
Wow. See? That’s incredible. I’m sold. I don’t know that you’re going to be the whole time. We’ll
have to talk about that in a moment. It’s easy to become unsold fairly quickly with this game, in my
experience, but I think we’ll get into that a little more in the inspection. No returns accepted, is
the fourth bullet on the back of the box. Yeah. The CD-quality music and sound effects, I don’t know
if I agree with that.
[07:30]
CD-quality is not something the N64 was known for. And neither is War Gods. But let’s prove that
point and jump on to the 64-point inspection. Indeed. So it’s time for the 64-point inspection. This
is a carefully crafted evaluation designed to judge every Nintendo 64 game through a series of 10
tests. For each test, we’ll present the evidence, make our case, and put it to a vote. If the game
passes the test, it earns 10 points.
[08:00]
If it fails, it will earn none. And if opinions are split, then the game is awarded 5 points. Any
game that earns 64 or more points passes the inspection and receives our coveted Certified 64 Seal
of Approval. And so with that said, let’s start the inspection. Test number one, the memory pack
test. I’m sure there was something. Ah, yeah, now I remember. Is this game still remembered today,
or has it faded into obscurity? Would the average gamer recognize it today?
[08:30]
Uh, you can kick us off on this one. What do you think? I would say this game is largely not
remembered at all, if it was ever known from the start. Usually when you’ve got a fighting game
series that is working, it gets sequels. We have dozens of Street Fighter games. We have quite a few
Mortals combat. We have some Tekken, some Killer’s Instinct, some Dead Zora Alive. You get the
point. A lot of these games have a lot of sequels. There is only one War Gods, and that’s not like
the good way of saying it.
[09:00]
There’s only one Michael Jordan. There’s only one War Gods, because there only needed to be one War
Gods. There is only one War Gods. Thank you. Yes. So I’m going to say fail. I don’t think I can add
to that. Yes. Fail 100% on that. This game, nobody really remembers it, and I think that’s for a
good reason. So, yep. I’m with you. Fail. All right. Test number two, the Rumble Pack test. This is
the Rumble Pack.
[09:30]
The coolest cinematic gaming experience there is. Does this game really take advantage of what made
the Nintendo 64 unique? Four-player multiplayer, analog controls, accessories, and other Nintendo 64
features. So this game kind of predates most of the features. It does attempt to use the Nintendo 64
analog sticks, which is pretty much every game, but it does so in a 3D capacity, in a traditionally
2D genre, but it does not effectively utilize
[10:00]
this to the point of being a pass. And with four controller ports on the system, and this only using
two, I don’t think that counts as really beyond the norm for taking advantage of the Nintendo 64,
even if, you know, two-player is kind of standard for this genre. This game could theoretically come
out on any console. The fact that it was exclusive to Nintendo 64 is kind of irrelevant. So for me,
that would be a fail. Yeah, I agree. And I think it did, if I remember right, it was eventually
ported to the PlayStation, I think maybe after the N64.
[10:30]
And like you said, it didn’t do anything much different there. In all honesty, it probably had
better quality music. Not that the music was probably any good and sound effects probably still not
great. So it may have gotten a little bit of a boost by way of the CD quality there, truly CD
quality, but it still didn’t do anything special. So I’m going to have to say fail too. Not looking
good. Test number three, the expansion pack test. That is one powerful piece of machinery. Does this
game deserve an expansion, sequel, remake, or modern successor?
[11:00]
Was there enough here to justify a future beyond the original cartridge? So I was mistaken, I guess.
I didn’t realize that this was released on other platforms after this one. We know it didn’t get a
sequel. We already touched on that. And I don’t think it was ever reported to any sort of re-release
status or HD remake. So it does have the arcade cabinet version of this. And I think that predates
this, right? The cabinet came first before the Nintendo 64 game did.
[11:30]
So that doesn’t count as a sequel. I mean, unless this game was lifted and came out elsewhere, I
don’t think this can pass this category. Yeah, I would agree. I think it came out. I want to say
arcades was maybe like nine months earlier from what I had looked at. Okay. I do think that, like I
said, it was on the PlayStation and I didn’t really mean to make that point prematurely. But yeah,
most of the time these games do get sequels when they are good and this did
[12:00]
not get one. So it didn’t get one. It hasn’t gotten a lot of love, like you said, in terms of
remasters or anything like that. One thing that was notable about it is that this version was
extremely close to the arcade version in terms of like fidelity, which was pretty impressive at the
time for the home console to be that impressive. So they made a few improvements based on feedback
from the arcade version and rebalanced difficulty and a couple of other things. So it’s actually one
of the best versions of War Gods, but still not good, despite being
[12:30]
the best version. So a fail. So they had nine months to consider what they could do to improve this
after the arcade came out before it made it to Nintendo 64. And while they did make improvements,
nobody thought, you know, at the round table at Midway offices, hey, let’s not make this game. But
so, all right. Well, okay. Let’s just keep this execution of the test moving forward with test
number five, the joystick gymnastics test. Yeah.
[13:00]
How well does this game play today? Are the controls and cameras still enjoyable? Or are they
working against the player? So this game held on to all the stiffness and weirdness of 2D fighters,
but now in 3D. I mean, it’s hard to move in any meaningful three-dimensional way in this game, at
least for me. I was absolutely rubbish at it. But I was not able to effectively utilize it. And
Virtual Fighter 2 and Tekken had come out before this game already.
[13:30]
So the standards have been kind of set or at least begin to take shape. And this game did not
elevate it beyond there. So even for early days, 3D arena fighters, this game was outclassed pretty
quickly. And Soul Edge came out like two months after this, and that was pretty much all she wrote
for War Gods. I just don’t think anybody came back to it after that. I still can’t really understand
the 3D movement now. And after playing games like Soul Calibur and many of the true 3D fighters,
it’s just not
[14:00]
even in the conversation for any gamer today. So this would be a fail for me. Yeah, totally agree.
It’s really sluggish. There was like one moment where I was playing it and I kind of did like a 3D
dodge almost unintentionally because I really couldn’t figure out what I was doing most of the time.
And I was like, oh, neat. And that’s maybe the one good thing I have to say about this game, because
it just is just not terribly interesting. It does not play well. So I definitely hard agree. I it’s
a fail.
[14:30]
Test number six, the bum to the bass test. How good is this game’s audio? Does it have memorable
music, iconic sound effects, or the kind of soundtrack that sticks with you long after you put the
controller down? This one is bad. I went back and listened to some of the music. It’s incredibly
corny. The sound effects are not very good. They’re low quality, especially, you know, sometimes
that is something that the N64 struggles with because of storage space. So they’re not very good.
[15:00]
Even the speech is bad. Even some of the announcer quotes are corny. Instead of fight, they say
begin. Again, instead of finish him, it’s prove yourself. It just is just sort of corny all around.
And there’s just not a lot of good to say. Yeah. Fail. Yeah. That announcer, they were trying really
hard to be the same as Mortal Kombat, but also different than Mortal Kombat. It’s very bizarre. I
mean, even just the stilted way that they say fatality sounds strange. Honestly, fatality as a word
appearing outside of a Mortal Kombat game is weird.
[15:30]
But yeah, you’re right. Everything in this just came across really odd. That’s a good point that it
was almost like it was made by a lot of the same people as Mortal Kombat or not not the same people,
but published by the same company. And it was almost like we can’t be the same. So we have to be
different. But they almost made things. They changed so many minor things to make them different
that it was almost just silly for the people that brought you Mortal Kombat. But don’t want to admit
that this game would really prefer to be Mortal Kombat comes War Gods. Gross.
[16:00]
So one thing that did strike me about this game was the menu movement noise, like right at the very
beginning. You can boot this up and this is the first thing that you notice. So they had this weird
like funk horn sound. Every time you move up and down on the menu, it plays that little funk horn
sound that sounds like the beginning of James Brown’s Get Up Off of That Fang. Honestly, it sounds
like it’s a placeholder sound effect that they just put in there and then they’re like, oh shit, we
forgot to replace it.
[16:30]
But you’re hopping up and down the menu and you expect to hear something like, get up off of that
thing. Options. It’s so weird. And I’d love to know what the reason was for it, to be honest with
you. But so I looked into the sound to try and find a better way of describing it. And apparently
it’s a pretty commonly known sound called the Philly Hit. And it’s actually been used a lot more
recently and successfully in Pizza Tower, which is a game that I don’t know if either of us have
played yet, actually. But that’s…
[17:00]
No, I haven’t. People recognize it as the Pizza Tower sound effect more than they recognize it as
the War Gods menu sound effect. But yeah, just bizarre. It stands out really strangely here. I’m
hoping that you can kind of intercut some Philly Hits amongst some of my points here to just kind of
really drive home the fact that it’s weird and it is not what you would expect in a game where there
are fatalities. Absolutely. And for good measure, here’s one more for the listeners. It is weird,
though, especially with this game being sort of like a little bit more serious because it’s a
fighting game.
[17:30]
It makes sense that it’s the Pizza Tower sound because Pizza Tower is a far less serious game. And
like you said, it almost feels like they just grabbed something from a sound effects library and
they’re like, no one’s going to notice this. And now here we are 30 years later talking about how
dumb of a decision it was. Test number seven, the Smash Invite Test. Will this battler live up to
expectations? Does this game have characters, worlds, music, or any ideas worthy of a place in Super
Smash Brothers?
[18:00]
So the character designs vary wildly in this game. Some are pretty much just spirit Halloween
costumes and others get a little bit more love. There are characters like Voodoo and Tack that feel
intentional, but some characters like Pagan and Warhead or even Kabuki Joe, which might be my
favorite name, are just tossed together designs that feel extremely uninspired. And the boss
characters in this game is basically like Timu Shrek and Swamp Thing.
[18:30]
They show some design intent, but the rubber Goro from the Mortal Kombat movie is the kind of vibe
that you get off of this and in all of the wrong ways when it comes to their character designs. So
like this is one character that’s essentially the Kalima heart grab Temple of Doom guy from Indiana
Jones and in both his design and his fatality. It’s just stolen IP basically, and they just chuck
him in here.
[19:00]
So he would be he’d be the number one pick, I guess, for Smash simply because he’s kind of based in
a movie that was successful. But no, none of these, no, no one should come near them. As far as
Smash Brothers go, this is just an absolute fail with an underline on it for me. Big time. I think,
too, we kind of were digging into the manual a little bit more with this, too. And it’s kind of
weird, like as far as the story beats go, like we were kind of looking into it. And I think the guy
that Jamie’s talking about, I believe, is how Ken, I believe is how you say his
[19:30]
name. And he is an evil high priest. And so I get which is weird. It says, according to the manual,
they found or at the bottom of his tribe’s sacrificial well. And so he sent his slaves to their
death to go get it. And then when he was overwhelmed with desire, he jumped down there and got it
himself, which brings up the question, if he sent someone else to get it, wouldn’t they become
powerful? So like, what’s the point of getting someone else to do it?
[20:00]
Right. Yeah. And it’s a sacrificial well, too. So people have been thrown down there for all time,
right? So like, and I don’t know how come none of them. That’s weird. I didn’t even think about
that. That’s crazy. This game does not want you to think about the timeline at all. I just I don’t I
don’t understand the storyline here. So like this alien crashes on Earth, but he crashes in some
elaborate way where his magical space or lands sprinkled around the planet as he crashes in various
different places where people who find it then turn into stereotypical warriors from their
[20:30]
approximate geographic location. It just it was bizarre. Like, like, there’s an American guy that
just becomes a commando. And then one guy becomes a badly Photoshopped Terminator. But then there
are other people like skanky Vikings or paper mache rock golems that just it just does not make any
sense. Like the guy we’re talking about, the Kalima heart rip guy. Right. So he’s I assume it’s
probably Indian inspired because Temple of Doom was kind of Indian inspired. So like, I’m I don’t
think it
[21:00]
takes place in a real location. But so I’m just picturing like this guy’s just driving to work in
Mumbai and he finds a glowing rock. He picks it up and all of a sudden he starts ripping people’s
hearts out and stuff. I don’t get it. But then also, apparently this happened a million years ago.
But then it’s also happening in present day. I, I just I don’t understand. Yeah. Yeah. There was
there was a little more weirdness as I dug into the manual. There was because you made a good point
there that like a billion years ago, this guy crashed
[21:30]
a spaceship and then he just chilled for a while. Like he just waited for people to find this and I
guess bring it back to him because he was like, I don’t know, I don’t have time to go find all this
or I’m just going to sit here for a billion years and no one will know I’m here until later. But to
further add to the confusing timeline, as you just mentioned, there is a character named Maximus,
who was a gladiator and fought for the entertainment of higher up rich people. And it says that
there was a festival that celebrated the ore. So people knew that it was
[22:00]
there, but I don’t know how that came into no one touching it. Maybe they wore gloves. He ended up,
according to the manual, killed his opponent, killed all of the people in charge and then took the
ore. And so he became more powerful. Keep in mind, mighty gladiator. We’re talking like 100 BC, like
Roman Empire type stuff. But then the Photoshop Terminator guy was in the year 2096. So Maximus
waited something like 2,200 years for this guy to show up so he could fight him. All the while, Exor
or whatever his name is, has already been
[22:30]
there for a billion years. Like something, somebody’s going to show up eventually, right? Like, I
guess. Extremely patient warriors. Yeah. All I’m hearing is that these people really did not want to
play war gods. They were putting it off as much as possible. Yeah, I really don’t want to go fight.
So I’m just going to chill for about 3,000 years until I do something about it. I do have one last
call out from the manual. Please, I can’t wait. Yeah. And this is a pretty good one. One of the guys
became a war god by accident. So there is a
[23:00]
voodoo who is a, it says he was in a Caribbean village and he was a witch doctor who enslaved his
people. A lot of slavery in this. Pretty problematic. And so he enslaved people with black magic and
arcane spells. And then one night in desperation, they hated him so much that they killed him and
threw him into a swamp. Well, actually, they killed him and burnt him to death and then threw him
into a swamp. Wait, they killed him and then burnt him to death?
[23:30]
Yeah. So they burned him to death. Man. And then they threw him into a swamp and there just happened
to be one of the pieces of ore at the bottom of the water. And so he landed on the ore by mistake as
a dead guy who was evil and burned and then came back to life. And so now he is the god of the
undead. He didn’t even want to do this. The other people went, some of them went and stole the ore.
This guy was a dick and he got killed and thrown in the water and just happened to land on it. And I
imagine that that means that
[24:00]
the people who killed him, if he comes back to life and is more powerful, he probably wouldn’t went
ahead and killed all the back because he was probably pissed about it. So voodoo, not a great guy.
But I think we told you all that to tell you this, probably a fail on the smash test because these
are some shitty characters. Agreed, though. I am enjoying it a lot more in this conversation than I
did actually playing the game. Accidentally becomes a war god is pretty buck wild. Test. It’s so,
it’s so dumb.
[24:30]
Test number eight, the 101% test. Oh, they are running up the score. Is this game worthfully
completing? Are the extra challenges, collectibles and secrets worth the effort? So this game does
let you unlock the two boss characters with a, and I think a secret arena where you fight them.
Again, I say secret in quotes because the back of the box tells you that they’re there and
[25:00]
that you can unlock them. But it does them with codes rather than actually encountering them in the
game or having to complete anything. So there isn’t really any reason to try and earn them. You just
put in the code. All characters essentially share the exact same ending as well, which is piss poor.
It’s a still image and they just update the image with the same posed render of your character of
choice when you beat the game. And next to it, there’s some pixelated text that gives you a story
where they say that you’re the best of the war gods. So yeah, it’s not worth repeating. If you were
[25:30]
willing to beat this game once, shame on you, but there’s absolutely no reason to do it over and
over again with all the different characters to try and complete it all out. But I will say there is
an animation that they have on XOR, the alien bad guy who’s the final boss. When he dies, it’s so
bizarrely long-winded and random. It feels like this cringy glitch that’s so bad it’s worth
watching,
[26:00]
at least doing it once with one character. He just sort of convulses and twitches, but he does it
for like 30 seconds and it’s maybe a four-frame animation and it just keeps on going while he has
explosions going off around him and flashes and stuff. But it’s weird. It looks like it’s broken.
But yeah, then you get rewarded with a pixelated paragraph next to your character and hooray you.
The arcade version, I will add, does have some additional renders of the staff giving themselves a
lot of credit for the work they probably don’t like to include on their resume
[26:30]
nowadays. But just Google those pictures and you can see them. I’d skip playing this thing if I were
you. So fail. Speaking of people who have this on their resume, I do want to mention that one thing
I found during the research for this was that current Xbox chief content officer Matt Booty was a
systems programmer on the game working on the game’s compression to make the audio and stuff work
better. I believe you got to compress that booty big booty. I believe on the arcade version,
[27:00]
not the N64 version. But either way, I thought that was really kind of interesting that he’s been in
the industry that long. And despite having worked on this pretty unfortunate game, humble
beginnings. Yeah, that he really I mean, he’s turned that around to be like literally a very up
there executive at Xbox is a heck of a career. And he’s been there for a number of years now. So
that’s that’s pretty awesome. I will say in terms of the 101 percent test, it’s a pretty standard
fighter. Like you said,
[27:30]
one part of it to the only characters that you would unlock by going to 101 percent roughly would be
the boss characters who you would have already beaten them at this point. And they’re probably far
less powerful once you become them. So you’ve already done what you need to do to beat them. Now
you’re them, but they have to be regular strength or you just wreck everybody. So not worth it. So I
am going to seek out that that animation because I don’t believe I saw that. So I’m going to check
that out. But on my way to do that, I need to tell you that failed.
[28:00]
Test number nine, Wario’s Wallet. Oh, my God. Is this game worth the price of admission today? If
you’re spending modern collector money, are you getting your money’s worth? So according to price
charting, a loose cartridge is $10.37 US and complete in box with manual, you’re looking at $47.67.
So for a clean eBay cart find, you’re probably looking at $12 to $13.
[28:30]
This makes it an easy pickup for completionists. I will say, though, that the label print on this
one is dodgy. It’s difficult to keep clean compared to other games. And you’ll notice when you’re
looking this one up, you’ll find the label gets smudged or it kind of has blank spots on it pretty
commonly. I’ve actually ordered it twice because I’m trying to get nice, clean copies of this game.
And that actually might be a reason. Well, it is the reason that Adam has this game is because I
offloaded my extra one to him because I needed to get a better version because I tried to
[29:00]
clean it up and the label ended up just completely coming off. But anyway, all of that being said,
there is an arcade that you can try and find and play. Otherwise, this is this is the way that you
would get it. And for $10.37 loose, it’s it’s pretty affordable. What do you think about that, Adam,
having been gifted a copy of this game and knowing that that’s the price value of my generous,
generous present? Where do you land on this one for Wario’s wallet?
[29:30]
Well, yeah, for, you know, 13 bucks, getting it for free as feels like I saved a ton of money for
sure. I, I guess from a collector standpoint, like you said, if you’re a completionist, it’s a very
low thing to get your hands on, which is, you know, not difficult to necessarily talk yourself into.
It’s not the sometimes 120, 160 or more dollars that some of these more elusive and sometimes even
more than that titles go for 13 bucks isn’t hard to necessarily fork out. But that’s also if you
have a choice between this and something like Conker’s Bad Fur Day at, you know,
[30:00]
150, 160 bucks, that’s 13 bucks. You could put somewhere else because this is going to probably
still be there when you come around to it. So let’s say fail because it just, it’s just not great.
And if you do have it as a completionist collector, you’re probably not going to spend a lot of time
with it anyway, because it just isn’t very good. All right. So I was thinking about this because it
is, it is cheap and that’s it. That’s what it’s got going for it. It is cheap. Yeah. That’s, that’s
about it. Yeah. Yeah. But you’re right. Like if you just wanted a piece of
[30:30]
plastic to put on your shelf next to other things, like buy almost anything. And it’s better than
this. Uh, I wanted to try and give it a point here, but I can’t, it’s yeah, it’s, it’s a fail. Wow.
I’m not going to give the score out just yet. I was really thinking we might get somewhere, but
we’ll reveal the final here in just a moment. I think we might be setting a record here in all the
wrong ways for war gods, but Hey, maybe it’ll turn it around in this last test. Test number 10,
[31:00]
the nostalgia goggles test. Does this game genuinely hold up today or is its reputation being
carried by nostalgia? I would say no. It, it, there’s just not a lot going for it. We’ve said it
time and time
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again, we’ve said it through nine other tests you’ve heard from both of us. So at this point, we’ve
given you 18 different takes on why it is not a particularly good game and why no one remembers it.
And that continues through test 10. So I’m going to say that that’s a fail. Yep. Agreed. This does
not hold up today at all. And there is no nostalgia attempting to keep it afloat. So, uh, I mean,
there’s no, there’s no argument that can be made for it. I say, kill it off fatality, all that fail.
Whoa. Okay. So, um, looking, looking at the scoreboard,
[32:00]
did you turn it on? I don’t see anything on there. Uh, is it, did the power go out? Oh yeah. That’s
because it’s blank. Uh, it, it is a blank because it failed every category. And so believe it or
not, worse than Superman 64 war gods gets a zero. You almost had it a zero, which is astounding.
What an achievement. This test is designed to try and bring out
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all different aspects of games so that every game stands a chance at making some points. The fact
that war gods has been able to march through this thing with a clean zero is almost impressive. So,
um, there you go. This game will be an important one, I think in the history of this podcast, but
for, um, unfortunate reasons. Yeah. What’s, what’s kind of wild about that is that even the one
thing it had going for it was that the Wario’s wallet test it’s 13 bucks,
[33:00]
but we recently also did an episode if you’ve been listening and if you haven’t, please go check it
out on mission impossible and objectively better game having gone through this test and it costs
like six or $7. Like it is less and it is a, not a fantastic game, but a better game that costs less
than this one. And that’s a pretty insane feat. That’s insane that it hit even at $13, you could
[33:30]
do better as far as spending less money. And that’s pretty crazy. Agreed. So speaking of, uh, doing
better, a little bit of armchair engineering, what do you think that you could do to try and save
this game? Is it salvageable? Do what, you know, is there anything that you would do differently or
you would advise with your infinite wisdom 30 years later, what would you change about it to try and
get a chance at maybe making a point on the test or is this thing just doomed? I actually did have
[34:00]
something. I wouldn’t say that my wisdom is infinite for sure, but there were some improvements. I
think one thing would be more of a story mode though. The story as it stands is pretty awful and the
characters are not very exciting. It involves these characters holding or and becoming powerful, but
it says that they seek out more pieces to gain more power with each piece. Maybe you get more moves
or there’s a visual tweak or something that you can unlock something. You basically have power at
one, you have the same power at 10, and then you win and you get this awkward image that says you
did it. What’s the point?
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There’s not really anything from that. Some of this probably stems from being an arcade game.
Originally having to eat quarters, most arcade games, even some of the most legendary boil down to
like maybe 30, 45 minutes, maybe an hour of content because the way they kept you there all day was
it being hard. It took you hours to get through the hour because you had to keep stopping and
putting more money in, especially with games that don’t have multiplayer. And so they used very
increased difficulty to make more money and make the game take longer. Something that like some of
the later
[35:00]
Mortal Kombat games did, they had cut scenes, they had the coins, they had the crypt, both with a K
like the Kardashians because style. But they gave unlock system because it’s cool. Also with a K.
Yeah. Cool with a K. It gave you some reason to come back because you could unlock something
cosmetic or there was some story beat that you would get or something that you would get out of
visiting the crypt and getting this stuff. And this just didn’t have any of that. You basically
fought, you either won or you lost. And that was how it began and ended. And it just really wasn’t
[35:30]
worth a whole lot. OK, yeah. I don’t have anything that I can add. This game has left a bad taste in
my mouth and I don’t really want to try and salvage it. So I’m not going to be I’m not going to be
as generous with that. That’s entirely fair. But to try and keep it positive, I do think there’s
stuff that we can learn from this game. So let’s move on to our last segment here, the Lobo
learnings. In this segment, we take a look at today’s game through the eyes of an amateur indie
developer and see what lessons we can learn from it decades later. What ideas are worth borrowing?
What
[36:00]
mistakes should be avoided? What made this game work? And how might those same principles apply to a
modern game in development? Lobo learnings is brought to you by Lobo Destroyo, our own Nintendo 64
inspired 3D platforming adventure currently in development. If you’re enjoying the show and like to
know about our own game development journey, we’d love to have you. You can learn all about Lobo
Destroyo and join our Discord community and find links to all of that in our show notes or visit us
at L-O-B-O-D-E-S-T-R-O-Y-O dot com. And yeah, all of those links will be available
[36:30]
at the end of the show as well. So learnings wise, I think the main takeaway for me here is that
technology is a tool, not a goal. As you said in the history lesson, there was a purpose for this
game. And I don’t know if the purpose was to make a good game. Players don’t buy games based on use
of a particular rendering technique. They buy them because they’re fun, memorable, emotional, and
engaging. And they remember them and continue to play
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them for those same reasons. Technology should make those things better, not be the only reason that
the game exists in the first place. So example would be Donkey Kong Country, right? They boasted
their pre-rendered sprites and that it was amazing to look at, but it was also amazing to play. And
I could have told you that when I was 10 playing it at the time, that this was impressive for
impressive reasons. So I’m not saying don’t show off that you’ve
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got technology behind your game. Just don’t, just make sure that you’re not making it the point of
the game that you’re making. It should be supporting it, not the main pillar of the game. And War
Gods feels like it was chasing technology the whole time. And it’s been forgotten to technology when
that technology progressed. Nintendo makes games that are timeless, kind of like Disney does with
their attractions. And you should aim for that whenever you can. Easier said than done, of course.
But games can be retro by design. And this is unfortunately the opposite. And I think that’s my main
takeaway for this.
[38:00]
Well said. Well said. All right. Let’s wrap this episode up. Let’s do it. The Cartridge Archive was
created by Jamie Guy and is produced and hosted by Jamie Guy and Adam Jones. Our music is by the
mysterious Breakmaster Cylinder. Visit thecartridgearchive.com for more information or join our
Discord. You can find the links to both of those at tap to add.me slash TCA pod. That’s tap the
number to add.me slash TCA pod. You’ll find that and all our other links in the show notes. More
episodes of the Cartridge Archive are available
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wherever you get your podcasts. And as always, thanks for listening.